Youre A Taxi Driver. Can You Stir It In New York City?

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Hey, you. You got what it required in order to drive a cab in NYC?

Oh, our apologies, Mr. Idiot. Guess you didnt have it in you after all. Perhaps going to go to your desk occupation and do that all day with all your idiot pals. Nice.

Okay, well just see about that. You think youre the kind of person who can promoted through NYC traffic? That youre the type of guy who can drive something yellow? Well, then, if youre so confident, lets see you recognize this.

Based on your response to the predating inquiry, it has been conclusively determined that you are blind. Blindness has been banned in New York for many yearsand not just in cabs. Searches like youre not taxi fabric after all.

Huh, seems like you do have what it takes…for now. If you want to make it here, youre is gonna have to drive the most difficult the consumers and make the most wonderful fund. So, whats your first move?

Come on. This is NYC. If youre going to pull something like that, theres merely one thing the city is going to deal you: the famed New York Finger. That means youre burnt. Stick to what you know, cabbie.

Nice! Amazing decision. Grows out that this family was on their style to cheat a neighbourhood bakery, and you saved the well-being of 15 separate pastry chefs. Still, though, you went to jail for doing the police force cultivate. Better luck next time.

Awesome! Amazing decision. Rotates out that this woman was on her course to kill their own bodies doubled, and you saved the life of someone who looked exactly like her. Still, though, you went to jail for doing the police force study. Better luck next time.

Hello, I need to get in your vehicle so I can rob you, says a pedestrian, flagging you down.

What do you do?

Oh no! You killed your future spouse. Who knows the love you could have shared? Who knows what happiness “youve had” destroyed? All it was willing to do was cheat and film you, and you became and did this .

Great, thanks, he says, climbing into your auto. I was wondering if I could cheat you.

Well, the customer is always right, and he filmed and then cheated you, which are likely means youre not cut out to be a taxi move in NYC. Granted, if you had lived through being fire, that would have been a different story, but you seem too weak for this errand.

Thank you for letting me rob you, he says. Its New York, child! Heres a battalion of miscellaneous route desegregate for your trouble.

Looks like youre not cut out to be a taxi motorist. Maybe you could have driven this auto someday, but frankly, with your firmnes, it was probably never going to happen.

So, youve decided to go on a assassination spree. Would you like to assassinate this with your auto?

Great! How about this? Would you like to murder this with your vehicle by driving fast at it and not stopping until it is dead?

How about this? More slaying for you? Or do you feel like youve murdered enough for one day?

Looks like you want to keep assassinating as a taxi cab driver in NYC. Does this definitely sounds like an appealing act to throw with your gondola?

Amazing! After committing felony after misdemeanour throughout the city, youve ultimately encountered your true-blue ardour: assassination. Regrettably, you were so good at it and loved it so much that you discontinue driving to pursue it. Better luck next time!

Great, your first clients are already on the street.

Help, we want to go fast but we dont want to walk, says the woman, flailing her forearms in the air. Is there any space we can do that?

Hi, thanks, were in from out of township and dont know what to do, “theyre saying”, clambering into your taxi. You seem foreign, but in such a way that makes you seem knowledgeable. Can you show us around?

Do you have what it takes to give these parties the best tour of NYC theyll ever get?

All right, time for the tour. Heres our first stop, the beautiful Empire State Building, you say as they applaud in the backseat. The Empire State Building was built in 1944, and 125,000 vehicles drive over it each and every day!

And here we are at our next stop, Yankee Stadium, you say as the family peers out the window. I used to bring my son here all the time and see him sing Take Me Out To The Ball Game.

Stop number three: Broadway, you say, pointing out the window. I hope you have a loaf of bread ready, because these guys proceed absolutely nuts for it.

And should be noted that, right across the river? you say. Thats New Yorks best-kept secret. Its my favorite hot dog stand in the whole city.

Wow, that was incredible. We are officially destroying our lives and moving to the city, they say. You can put us off right here, into the Hudson River.

Here we have the famed Statue of Liberty, the tallest dark-green woman in the world, you say. This is where I live. I live in that crown.

You have them in the palm of your hand.

Hello, I am Pablo, says Pablo, your Statue of Liberty guy. I will move them to the top of her foreman so they are unable stare out of her huge dark-green eyes. I call this Liberty Vision. I love you so much.

The Statue of Liberty was built in 1500 and was originally a present from someone who spoke French, you say, pointing up. If you appear closely, “youre seeing” she countenances over 300,000 hoofs tall.

There are four very tall stairs in the Statue of Liberty, you say. In happening, every immigrant that came to New York City before 1900 came through here, and was forced to walk up them until they reached the crown.

Thank you so much better, they say. Its meter for us to start a brand-new life as New York City immigrants. Heres 40 yen for your troubles.

You did it! You dedicated this family the best daylight theyve ever had. What the fuck is you do next?

Well, you quit willingly, so looks like youre not cut out to be a taxi move. Maybe you are able drive this gondola, but candidly, with your willpower, it doesnt seem likely.

Hello, Im single and arguably too beautiful to be taking a study, says the status of women on wall street, curving her limbs. Can anyone facilitate me?

What should you do?

Thanks! Im young and female and looking to go to the airport, she says, clambering in your taxi. You seem foreign, but in such a way that scares me. Can you take me to JFK?

Do you have what it takes to drive this woman to her flight without freaking her out? Great! Whats your first move?

Wow, you are very beautiful, you say. I like having you in my gondola, and you are more beautiful than the State of Liberty.

She is quiet.

Im flattered, she says, without addressing again. Mhm.

Thank you, she says quietly.

You pull up to a stoplight in Midtown. She starts to reach for the door.

Really, you are so beautiful that they should put you on the no-fly listing. They should never let you on an aircraft, and they are able to never let you apply for a captains license either, “theyre saying”. If I were your lover, Id never let you out of my see and into the skies.

Well, you established it to the airport, but you freaked out your beautiful patron practice too much to legally be a taxi motorist in NYC. Plus, this is New York City, child: 95 percent of your passengers are going to be even more beautiful than “womens issues”. Play it cool next time.

Oh, this is fine, Ill exactly stroll to JFK, she says, going out. Here is a loose plenty I only found in my handbag for all your troubles.

You did it! You said the word beautiful to this woman many times and she did not call the policemen. What will you do next?

Well, you gave up your taxi medallion by choice, so looks like youre not cut off for the purposes of our chore after all. Perhaps youre better are in accordance with drive one of the following options? Who knows? Grant it a shot.

Help, Im pregnant and too lazy to path to the hospital, says a woman on the street, flagging you down.

What do you do?

Thanks so much for the travel, says the pregnant lady, climbing into your car. Im not in labor yet, but I will be soon. Would you mind driving around for three more months until I am?

Great, thanks. What an amazing few months its been, she says. Now that the seasons have changed, I feel like my contractions are about five to 10 minutes apart. Can we go to the hospital now?

Do you have what it takes to get this woman to a doctor safely?

Well, you bought her a MetroCard and stepped her to the train, but when you witnessed her pregnant figure hobbling toward the door, you precisely couldnt bear it.

So, you took back the MetroCard and committed her your cab as a gift. Seems looks just like you dont have what it takes to make it as a cabbie in New York City.

Traffic is terrifying.

Hurry up, she says. The newborn seems to love the racket of cars and is trying to get out and examine them.

You honk your horn.

Hes honking the maternity cornet, wails the operator directly in front of you, lodging her head out of the window. Hey, that taxi has a pregnant girl inside. Everybody scatter!

Well, you crashed. Regardless of what happened with that pregnant noblewoman, this is the only vehicle youre legally allowed to drive now.

Gross, shes giving birth, they all say, parting behaviors. The human body is disgusting. Get her away from your car and into the hospital.

Help, Im a registered nurse and I want to deliver a baby right now, says a woman on the street, flagging you down.

Yes, extraordinary selection! Just just moments ago, this wet-nurse had left her lunch inside a boy she was performing surgery on. Regrettably, though, that means you were promoted from taxi move to police officer, in NYC, which means you lost your job.

Do you have anything in this cab that I can use to birth this newborn? questions the nurse.

Perfect, she says. The child is born.

Wow! Youd been missing a baby in their own families, and now you have one. Regrettably, you quit your job to raise it. She was just going to be a terrifying father, though, so thank God you took it!

Thank you so much for the ride, she says. Heres a tamale for your fuss.

Well, youve had a long day, and theres simply meter for one more purchaser. Can you handle this last-place journey?