Like most little girls, I ever saw growing up, getting married and starting a family.
At a young age, I became infatuated with wedding dresses. I picked out first and middle names for my hypothetical teenagers and even decided on the ages when I would get married and then pregnant.
Its ingrained in young girl from the very beginning that those are the biggest, most important milestones in life.
As I flourished older, my occupation, sanity and prosperity began to be more important than learning someone to marry and have girls with. But the frustrating event is, the rest of the world has expectations for me already.
I am officially at the age where those milestones should be in my near future. I am requested information about my plans for marriage and kids regularly, as if I have no choice but to go through with these experiences. But why?
I was once at dinner with a group of people who were twice my age and they asked me about teenagers. They made a comment about how Im getting close to the age when I should get pregnant.
I told them I wasnt sure if I craved teenagers, that it wasnt a priority to me and that I would be perfectly content without them.
Trust me, someone supposed, youll change your knowledge. I stared, perplexed.
Every time I express how I experience, I get the same reaction. Parties have a hard time comprehending why anyone might choose to not have children, why they are likely choose to focus on their union, occupation and experiencesinstead of committing to invoking another human being.
Im always told Ill change my mind, as if its a gruesome stuff to waste my ovaries as a female.
Arent there enough promises put on wives?
Every single daytime as a girl, I detect pressure to sound and ordinance a certain acces. I am in an endless internal battle with myself to find at peace with who I am and what I look like compared to what I see around me.
I have to constantly remind myself that Im good enough, smart enough and attractive enough, even though I dont compare to women filling television, movies and social media.
So, why, on top of those standards( that I have to ignore for my own sanity ), am I told I must get married and have babes? Not simply am I expected to have them, but Im expected todo it sooner rather than than later.
I am told my job wont be as important as my husbands, that if someone bides at home with the children, it will be me.
I are saying that if I dont become a mother, “peoples lives” will be incomplete.
Some of my dislike arises from the fact that I dont thoughts Im strong enough to handle my childs pain on top of my own. The instant I recognize them hurt or overpower down by life, I will regret wreaking them into this world.
My sister is about to get married and have the wed of her fantasies with “the mens” she is in love with. They are planning to have minors soon after.
I will be an aunt, and I know I will love every minute of it. I perfectly adore juveniles, but I am more excited to fill the responsibilities of an aunt than mommy. I promised to be there as far as possible in order to assist them in read and grow.
And that is enough for me. Its enough to have children related to me by blood, children who I know I will adoration fully and unconditionally, who I will watch grow up yet never be wholly responsible for.
I am content focusing on my writing until Im a best-selling generator, focusing on my vocation until I get my dream errand. I want to focus on climbing the ladder until at long last, Im financially comfortable and able to see the world at my leisure.
Those are my goals now, and they are much more important to me than raising a child into this world-wide that I dont even know I want.
Maybe one day Ill have a change of heart about having children and suddenly hopes them. But Im not going to risk my merriment exactly because my parents and in-laws require grandchildren.
Im not going to do something that becomes me heartbreaking, unpleasant and scared because my family, acquaintances and society expect me to. I will exclusively have kids it if it will represent me happy.