Dieting was tough when you had to eat at the dining hall regularly. It wasn’t the junky, fatty meat “thats been” a problem for me, however. It was the dessert table.
If you have ever been inside of a college dining hall even once, you know what I’m talking about.
Every damn time I went to grab a meal, I swiped a cookie( or five ) on my way out. It prepared it really hard for me to start losing weight.
Forget ice cream, patty and tarts. Chocolate chip cookies are, hands down, my favorite dessert.
Now that you are familiar with my craving, you can imagine how hard it was to tell myself every day, “I have to avoid the cookies.”
But remaining to that dumb govern was even harder. Why? Because of the language I was using.
Ina video from Business Insider, Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of “Emotional Agility, ” explained how having “have-to” purposes sabotages everything we’re trying to accomplish. Harmonizing to David, we should set “want-to” purposes instead.
We start catching ourselves into’ have-to’ conversation … We become attracted to the very thing we are trying to avoid.
And that’s exactly what happened to me.
Anytime I feed in the dining hall, I couldn’t stop “ve been thinking about” NOT dining cookies. Harmonizing to Davis, my mentality already chose I was going to eat those cookies before I even tried to avoid them. Damn.
Making yourself feel like you have to do something never works.
Have-to goals that are generated by a sense of obligation or disgrace actually ramp up temptation.
Yup. That sounds about right.
If merely I knew then how to determine a “want-to” goal instead of pressuring myself, I might have had a healthier outlook on weight loss before I graduated.
Confused about what a “want-to” destination is? David describes it simply 😛 TAGEND
[ A want-to goal] is driven by an internal intrinsic desire that is of value and connected profoundly with what we want … A want-to goal actually ramps down temptation.
If I had a deeper connection to the desire to lose weight, it would have become a different type of priority for me.
Back then, I just wanted to look like a Victoria’s Secret model.
Now? I’m just happy nothing’s wrong with me and my organization is health sufficient to do the things I desire, like flowing and snowboarding.
I wish I could go back and tell my freshman time ego, “You don’t have to’ ogle hot’ for anyone.” Gazing hot is just something on the surface that doesn’t creating real happiness.
Wanting to be healthyin order to live a long life and do the things you desire is a much better reason to cut out sweets.
Once you start thinking about it that way, attaining healthier selections is so much easier. It becomes a pleasure instead of something to thump yourself up about.
And yes, I will still have a cookie( or five) every once in awhile.
But I don’t find disgrace or guilt about it anymore because those occasionsare few and far between.