It’s Time To Get Glad. Like Right Now.

I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to talk real with you for a minute. I’m devastated. Fifteen to twenty hours of my work week is spent on the phone, examining headlines and current events. Every casual conversation with sidekicks and family eventually makes political. Twitter, which used to be my escape from all of that, has now turned into a solid wall of apocalyptic word narrations, followed by a dozen parties playing Insult Tennis. I consider a large part of that is because the word, in general, has become the dirty person on the angle, wearing a doomsday sandwich board and screaming, “WE’RE ALL GONNA FUCKIN’ DIE! “

I’ve merely had enough, you know? So as a service to myself( and hopefully at the least a few of you ), I’m taking a separate from this horseshit-covered circus and switching my attention to some rightfully awesome, joyous substance. And if you have some you’d was ready to share, please, delight, please do. God knows my sanity could use it.

7

Pandas Won’t Let A Woman Sweep Up Their Leaves

Part of me thinks this video shall include “Yakety Sax.” The other fraction says, “NO! You leave this perfect piece of artwork exactly as is! You don’t piss in the mouth of Jesus! ” The basic gist is that a woman steps into an pen filled with pandas and to make efforts to sweep up some buds. When the pandas realize her broom and basket, they turn into excited toddlers. Big, fatten, wheel, flopping toddlers — precisely flopping and reeling their fat little figures all over her tools, eating the broom and clambering into the basket.

That’s the gist, but what get me laughing is how long it goes on. That poverty-stricken girl hinders trying to round them up, but the second largest she moves one, another takes its situate. And just when she starts to draw some semblance of progress … “Here comes the FAT, baby! “* Flop*

And they refuse to give up their toys , no matter what 😛 TAGEND

Via YouTube

If this video was 30 hours long, I would make it on a curve and succumb from smile poisoning.

6

A Ceaseless River Of Ducks

The only thing I know about this story is, “JESUS CHRIST! Duck! FUUUUUUUUCK! “

But that’s certainly all you need to know, because Jesus Christ. Ducks. Fuck. It’s an limitless sea of quacking and waddling. They’re holding up traffic. They’re repaving the road in just the cutest duck turd imaginable. They’re weaving — nay, flowing — around vehicles like they own the roadway. I symbolize, they can operate and they’re still like, “Fuck you. We are a flow of ducks, and we do whatever the blaze we want. We’re waddling right through your traffic. Get the FUCK out our way! “

Then, just as the line purposes, and you think it’s over … JESUS CHRIST! MORE DUCKS! FUUUUUUUUCK!

Via YouTube

5

Someone Realized A Gigantic Penis Out Of Live Sheep

I don’t fairly know how to apply this into messages, but I’m going to try. I have three children. On the working day each of them were born, I detected another part of myself come alive … like I’d spent times, go looking for missing parts of an elaborated jigsaw mystify and unexpectedly ascertained them while cleansing the sofa. They learnt me what life actually represented. How valuable and treasured it is. That you can never be a whole being without earmarking someone else — a child, a romantic relationship, a pal — to fill in the gaps.

Hugh Beveridge’s sheep penis makes all of my minors look like pieces of shit in comparison.

4

Toddler Plays Hide And Seek With A GoPro On His Head

This is the cutest goddamn thing in countries around the world, and I will revolve kick anyone who suggests otherwise. I don’t attention if it’s Brock Fucking Lesnar. Say this isn’t the cutest event, ever, and you’re getting a appearance full of John Cheese foot.

The best parts, for me, aren’t when he’s loping through the house, furiously looking for his parents. It’s where reference is stops in the hallway and starts searching each chamber. You can tell his little mentality is wield, trying to figure out the most probable hiding recognize, and even though you can’t understand his appearance, you just know it’s crinkled up in chubby toddler concentration 😛 TAGEND

But just when you think it can’t get any cuter, their bird-dog ways down the parents for him, and throws away their secrete discern. If you don’t find yourself smiling ear to ear when he opens the closet and bursts out his little toddler titter, you have no someone. I’m talking to you, Brock Lesnar.

3

T. Rex Snowball Fight

OK, so it’s been well established throughout my writing career that if it’s floppy, it will attain me laugh. The floppier it is, the more I lose it. That’s likely why I build so many dick jokes.

I’m having to do a little “I’ll take your word for it” as to the owner of this video, because it’s been posted on tons of sites. But Nicole Fullmer claims that she was taking down her Christmas lights when “shes seen” that epic battle happening in her neighbor’s yard. As of the writing of this article, it has around 112,000 vistums, but if there is a divinity, that figure will get at least three zeroes tacked to the end of it.

It’s funny enough, attending those two girls( I’m usurping they’re girls) throwing snowballs at one another while dressed as tyrannosaurus rex. But the thing that impedes drawing me laugh so difficult is that it’s really hard to run while wearing those acts. So after one of them flings a snowball, he runs away, toddling like a toddler and then flops over into the snowfall. Over and over and over again.

And I can’t. Stop. Chortling. It’s stupid. I know it is. But I can’t stop. If I had the capacities, I would hire those two parties to become involved in my house and merely do concepts while garmented in those outfits. House chores, residence reparations, my taxes. It doesn’t matter. I merely require those two parties hanging out with me forever, dressed like large-hearted ol’ floppy t. rex.

2

Bulldozer Fight !

Since we can’t recognize tyrannosaurus rex crusade in real life, the next best happen are bulldozers … the t. rex of vehicles. Now, some people might watch that video and add, “But John, you can’t be happy about that. Those beings aren’t playing around. Those are actual real humans in an actual real fight with actual real bulldozers! ” And to that, I throw up a high-five receipt palm and respond, “Hell yeah, they find themselves! “

No, seriously, they aren’t in a demolition derby or doing some promotional stunt. The people driving those bulldozers are from two competing construction corporations, and they apparently missed the “Please don’t engagement to the demise with your bulldozer” region of the safety-training video.

Look, you can say, “That’s violent and dangerous and crazy” all you want. But to that, I suppose 😛 TAGEND

Via YouTube

It reaches me happy, and that’s the whole degree of this article.

1

Ping Pong. Right In The Balls .

I’m not reading a goddamn statement about it. You saw it. Take my cause and watch it again. And again. And again. And again. And again …

Here, let me introduced it in gif sort, so you have been able loop it eternally. You’re welcome.

John Cheese is the head of pillar for Cracked. You can also find him on Twitter .