Is Naomie A Terrible Girlfriend To Craig, Or What?

Sorry this summary is belatedly, I actually did it on time aka on Memorial Day like a fucking loser but then I stopped forgetting to send it in so here we are. This week’s chapter sucked regardless, as you’ll soon be able to tell from the dripping disdain that pervades every convict of this summary. But uh, enjoy!

Craig couldnt graduate from constitution school because he couldnt slake his upper grade writing requirement? Seriously? What a joke. “Thats like” that time I virtually didnt postgraduate college because I virtually miscarried my rock climbing gym class because I missed one too many classifies because I was hungover . Except I didnt fail and likewise that misstep didnt placed me back like, 80 K in debt.

Also I considered my college was cold for seeing me pay $50 K for a piece of paper but Craigs law school merely caused him an email degree. Thats way worse. Where did Craig go to law school, the University of Phoenix?

After a neat plug for Marshalls/ Home Goods, Chelsea assembles up with Cameran to shop. We can stop with this whole zen room travesty. Tells exactly get to the obvious Shep/ Austen convo which we all know is the real reasonablenes Chelsea and Cameran are appearing in the same home at the same time together.

Cameran: So last-place darknes at our dinner party everything was great, “there werent” drama

Did we watch the same dinner party?

Cameran: Well of course Kathryn comes up.

Cam rehashes the phone call between Kathryn and Whitney. Literally why do I do this to myself and watch all these vistums that are just person or persons recapping last escapade to other persons? Also why does fucking Bravo do this to me?

Chelsea is like Well IDK I cut Kathryn’s hair and she seemed nice.

Cameran: I have viewed Kathryn be an absolutely nice party and Ive realise her has become a terminated horror.

I mean, the same could be said of most people. Classic Cameran, flip-flopping when Chelsea wasnt down to talk shit.

Craig meets Naomie for dinner to tell him he graduated rule academy. The first thing out of Naomies mouth is I dont even believe you right now.

Craig:

What should have been a happy communication turns into Naomie being like Well good situation you graduated statute school because if you hadnt we wouldnt still be dating. Which then segues into Well are you gonna take the bar? Cheers to you eventually being able to take the bar. Look, Craig is no saint but sacred shit, I frankly feel so bad for him rn. I don’t even envision she actually said “Congratulations.” But again, usual Naomie, turning a chance to be supportive of her boyfriend into yet another opportunity to take shots at him. Frankly, Im just sick of these people. Why do I do this to myself.* internally screams*

Shep bellows Cameran to apologize and is like I precisely want to roast a patty of rainbows and smiles and we can all eat it and be happy.

Shep: Im not on anyones surface. Im like Switzerland.

Thats exactly what I say when theres a fight of the working group text.

Shep is instigating a three-way announcing strike and inviting Cameran and Kathryn to lunch.

Thomas is telling his minors nanny about how he has a appointment. Is it with Landon or with some random 20 -year-old? My money is on the latter.

Oh ok I lied, Landon and Thomas are going to dinner. But what about Drew tho ?? Have she and Landon even broken up? This is savage.

Landon : I know how Thomas feels about me. I know if I were to say yes Id get a resounding pretty quickly and get all the ponies I want.

Well Im glad she didnt jump to any conclusions or be pushy or anything.

Thomas purposefully guilds the most expensive bottle of cabernet and announces it like a fucking frat person motioning his credit card in front of the bartenders face. Landon declares Arnold Palmer like Arnold Palm-air and I hope Im not the only one who caught that. Yeah I know this recap is like, four epoches sometime but THE POINT STILL STANDS.

Thomas is doing some papa joke about turquoise being from Turkey. Huh? Then he knocks over a glass of wine and says its simply because Landon manufactures him apprehensive. That’s a entertaining road of saying “I’m consumed and pregamed this date”.

Landon: Well the reason Im here is because Patricia told me I should consider you as a suitor.

But how does Landon feel? Likewise, are we in the 1800 s? Who actually says the word “suitor” non-ironically?

Thomas : Just tell the reviewers something academic. Like, use thee, thy, thou.

What? What does that is therefore necessary to do with anything? “Go fuck thyself” is apparently the new offend now? OK, Grandpa.

OMG that random lady at the table next to them is like Ive watched you and you two put out a chemistry Ive not learnt before. And I cant exactly sit here and say nohtig. Ive been married for 34 years and I can tell you this little girl is your soul mate. You picked all that by sitting next to them for 45 seconds? The fucking is this bullshit, Bravo farmers? How much did you pay this lady?

The lunch three-way announce begins. Kathryn rolls up and orders a regular Coca-Cola. Like what, you worried theyre gonna misunderstand you if you order a coke? Because if so … DM me the address of this eatery right tf now.

Apparently the last season Kathryn and Cam talked was when Kathryn asked her to lunch and Cam was like Its a no from me. Ah, good times.

Whitney is making a surprise figure at this lunch. Visualize, I told you guys it was a three-way call attack. I guess its like a four-way lunch onrush, more accurately?

Cam : Im apprehensive, Kathryn in the past has been a bit unpredictable

^ Says the status of women whos accompanying Kathryns former hookup WITHOUT FUCKING TELLING ANYONE. But sure, Cameran. Fucking sure. Kathryn is the unpredictable one in this scenario.

Cameran : I dont require anyone to think this is an ambush.

She says as she waylays them. Jesus fucking Crhist, are we sure Cameran isnt the former senator for the working group?

This silence is so awkward and long I departed, got myself some wine-colored, and came back and they were still awkwardly staring at each other.

Cameran: Well Kathryn I crave you to know that were here because we support you and crave you to feel supported and in the past you didnt feel we supported you.

Whitney : In the past weve had our misunderstands but its water under the bridge now.

Rendition: I lied about the specific characteristics of such relationships but keep your mouth and everything shut.

Cameran: Are you totally checked out like with any romantic feelings with Thomas?

See this is the kind of shit I cant stand about Kathryn. Literally last fucking escapade she was like I dont wanna get involved in Thomas and Kathryns relationship, it’s nothing of our business. And now here she is being like So Kathryn are you still in love with Thomas? Is there any opportunity youll get back together? I said it last-place duration and Ill say it again. Get this bitch outta here.

Kathryn accompanies up the letter and everyone acts like they didnt already know this letter existed.

Craig matches Austen to do some golfing. I feel like the yield team of this establish also took a long weekend because why the fuck do I need to watch a 5-minute incident of Craig and Austen sucking at golf?

Holy shit I didnt know Chelsea has been engaged twice. No speculate the poor girlfriend doesnt wanna jump into relationship with Shep Jr.

Shep goes to get his hair cut by Chelsea and hes like poverty-stricken you, you have a thousand people chasing you. Literally me every time one of my red-hot acquaintances complains about guys.

Are we are genuinely still on this faux Bro Code thing where Shep is STILL mad Austen didnt question his permission to go for Chelsea? Shep, allays the fuck down. Youre absolutely no truth to the rumors father and Austen isnt asking for her hand in marriage.

Shep questions Chelsea What do you want? and she says I dont want to be married! Like uhh that intensified soon. Then she adds I just think it would be nice to have one person you sleep with exclusively.

Uhh do you not realize that you precisely described a relationship? Yeah its a pretty typical and conventional concept parties do. Not that outside of the box at all. Seems like Chelsea like other girls after all…

Thomas is planning a birthday defendant for Kenzie and he invites his papa and his pas like Well I cant come, Im going to the dentist at 2:30. LMAO. I could discover like, YEARS worth of misfortune in Thomas voice. Like, years of missed baseball games, high school graduations, birthday defendants ouch.

Holy shit Landon is going on a time with Drew. YOU LITTLE MINX!

Landons telling Drew how she isnt allowed to call her website Roam anymore, which altogether illustrates a lot.

Landon: It turns out, the committee is various other websites called Roam.

Gee, it exactly turns out. Its not like you couldnt have found that out easily if you had just fucking typed it into the internet or IDK, used basic deductive reasoning since you had to hyphenate your own websites URL.

Landons on this appointment talking about how her eggs are drying up. Christ, woman.

Landon : I dont wanna misinform you because I really like you a lot and I respect you.

So youre not gonna mislead him even though youve gone on years with Thomas behind his back? Cool.

Ugh Landons crying. This s a fucking mess.

Landon : Im not gonna holler again.
Also Landon: * starts announcing about how shes had her pup for 12 times and she hasnt had a lover to march the dog with her .*

Landon is like I exactly require someone to walk the dog with me! while sobbing. Christ, wife. Hire a TaskRabbit. Get it the fuck together.

Oh I lied its Saints birthday. WTF ever. Kathryn and Elizabeth are get lunch or some shit.

Elizabeth: So whats bell on with you and Thomas?

Kathryn: IDK I sent him a letter but he never replied.

Elizabeth: He actually did write you a note back. and I just so happen to have it here right now !!!!

Pulling a Chris Harrison starting Rachels season of during After The Final Rose.

Like it.? Share it: