I should’ve gone back .
There is a good chance I’m reading far extremely deeply into the situation. There is a good chance of that. Perhaps, even if I had gone back by seeking to glint some type of attachment( I painted some beautifully orchestrated minute that merely occurs in the corniest of rom coms ), nothing would’ve happened. Perhaps you weren’t looking at me, maybe you didn’t smile at me, maybe I dreamt all of it. Maybe I reached myself believe that you might have actually find the same as I. I’m not sure, but what I am sure of is how seriously I repented not going back to find out.
And now Halloween is over and we’re in our respective homes and I’m writing this and The White Album is playing and I still can’t stop thinking about you. Whoever you are .
Because I marched in, and Insomnia was crammed with beings in dres, but the second I moved in I searched and I saw you sitting right there, right in front of my look and we looked at each other. It was close-fisted but I accepted by the door. The transparent glass doorway, and we were taking reversals glancing back and forth at one another, and finally when your best friend finished got to get cookies you got up and went to open the door. The door was between us but through that glass pane we fastened eyes. It lasted an infinity and it was over in a second.
And you didn’t even leave the area! That’s what bugs me “the worlds largest”. You accepted in front of the storage and hadn’t even left hitherto, but I did, I left, and I should’ve gone back.
Or, I’m just like any other daughter who over overdoes their interactions with guys. But something in the back of my pate remains telling me Never has it been like this. Never have I felt like this .
I’ve always lived by this simple pattern, live life with as little unhappiness as possible. I’ve always helped myself to act on the right various kinds of impulse. To never watch an opportunity pass by because then I’ll have to live with that dreaded interrogation the rest of my life.
I hate that question. I abhor when I have no choice but to mull that wonder. What if? What if I went back? I’m persisted replaying everything in my thought, except, instead of telling myself it was nothing and instead of getting on the A qualify pate uptown, I go back to find out what if.
Before we traversed courses, I had persuasion my friend to give Insomnia a try. As much as I affection their cookies, I was full after substance myself with greasy Chinese meat. I wasn’t even supposed to be out the working day. I didn’t feel like leaving my suite and going through the trouble of having to push through the crowds of parties dressed up for Halloween waiting for the parade. We weren’t even going to get Chinese. We stopped at a Mexican eatery before, but had to panache after we “ve seen how” expensive everything was.
What I’m trying to say is, if I hadn’t left my apartment, if I had gone to that overpriced Mexican plaza, if I couldn’t get through the crowd, if I didn’t find that insomnia cookie browse, I wouldn’t be stuck. The peculiars of me clearing gaze contact with you are so astronomically out of my favor , not going back was a missed opening .
I have a hard enough time as it is getting myself to like people, and in that instantaneous I seemed myself falling face firstly. I couldn’t even stop myself from examining away. I believe my mouth( embarrassingly) drooped a little. I might remember discovering “Telephone Line” by ELO playing in the background( did you hear it as well ?), or was that simply in my honcho?
My heart stopped. I envisioned the faces of several hundred guys that night. Hundreds of guys in passing. Some were wearing Negan costumes, others garmented as Pennywise, a few weren’t wearing any costume. I verified all their faces, and Manhattan has a lot of faces to construe, but none obliged my centre stop.
As a matter of fact, I don’t visualize my mettles ever stopped like that for anyone, I was beginning to question if I even had a centre, I suspect I do, and it stopped for you. I’d like to think that yours might have bounced a drum more .
And now I’ll never know what music stimulates you, what movies you love, what weird situations annoy you. Maybe you like biking? Perhaps you detest speaking? Perhaps you think that is the worst movie ever built? I’ll never know. I never got to find out. I never got to tell you that I affection or that my favorite stripe is The Beatles. Or aliens terrify me, or that I want to visit Greece one day. You’ll never know, and I’ll never know.
So if I’m not crazy, and you did discover “Telephone Line”, and your middle did stop, and if you’re currently asking yourself I hope this finds you because looking at you felt better than a really good song.