Dad of four Girls Calls Out “Sugar-Coated” Parenting With Hysterically Accurate Instagram Posts

This “outnumbered” dad depicts #NoFilter parenting at its finest.

Its crazy just how much technology has completely changed the style we look at ourselves and the world. Before social media, the only practice to defeat yourself up for not being the trendiest mama was sitting in your minors car-pool text comparing mini-vans and Skechers. Now that theres Instagram and Facebook, you dont even have to have kids to feel like youre a bad mama. Everyone elses perfect posts will do that for you.

The truth is, we all know that what we ringlet past on social media is often far from reality.

Simon Hooper is a father of fourdaughters. He knows as well as anyone that what you recognize online isnt always what you get. So he took to Instagram in an effort to change that.

My whole report is to show a realistic panorama of what parenting is like from a mothers attitude, the father shows. There is way too much sugarcoating when it is necessary to mothers, so I wanted to share what its really like and render a little bit of humor at the same time.

The Hoopers oldest daughter is 9, followed by a 6-year-old and twinneds who are 10 months old. Makes just say, theres never a dull instant for the abysmally outnumbered father.

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“Tomorrow is international day of the girl and I, more than most, am celebrating. I might be heavily outnumbered and outgunned, but I’m celebrating because my girls are strong independent young maidens that are growing up in a nature that they can do anything they give their knowledge to( with a little encouragement ). We strive for equality and watch maidens as equals( and in my speciman, as supervisors !). That responded, in numerous regions girlfriends are seen as second class citizens and have limited opportunities to reach their full capability. This has to change. Start kiss your daughters goodnight& be fostered everyday to reaching for the stars.”

Jam-pack the Baby Bag

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“Clemmie gave me a pretty simple responsibility this evening- “go parcel the baby bag”( we’re going away for a nighttime ). A program developed in my president( why can’t I take anything earnestly ?!) I announced her in- “well “youve said” jam-pack the newborn pouch !! ”, expecting a giggle. She didn’t. I then showed cutting punctures in the bottom for their legs to hang out like those dog carriers but @mother_of_daughters was already less than pleased to say that i’d utilized her prized leather @kerikitbags for lols, so with my posterior between my legs, I repacked. A shed load of nappies, newborn cracking( milk gunpowder ), toys they won’t play with& a monitor- There was still enough chamber for half their own families in there! ”

#TeethingProbs

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“Teething is now in full outcome and the girls want us to know all about it. An email would have been able to sufficed but it seems they’d preferably use their spokespeople to get the message across that they actually aren’t enjoying this stage of exploitation. Its not straight screaming, it’s more like the racket a wounded animal might do that exactly wants to end everything there is. I can’t accuse them though, it’s like a mini incident from’ Alien’ in there at the moment, only in very very slow motion( and of course teeth don’t then go on to kill you and the gang of your carry so a few subtle differences, but essentially the same ). ”

Dad is Just Short for “Mobile Human Climbing Frame”

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“If there is one thing that us pas are good for its being used as a mobile human clambering frame. We’re rehearsing our number for britain’s get flair, the expertise being how many family members can hang off me( kind of a real life buckaroo game) before I steal a disc and crumple into a ridiculous mess hollering like small children who’s grazed their knee for the first time. Now all I require is for @mother_of_daughters to get on my back and the twinneds to rest of my shoulders and the gift is surely mine.”

Toys Will Never Do …

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“We have A LOT of toys for the girls. Some hand-me-downs, some brand new. We offer up the mitt attained, ethically sourced , non toxic, bespoke cubes made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway. They look down their nose at them with hatred, end they’re tosh and pitch them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to locate keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic package. If that fails, they defect me until i give up the very best. Numerous mornings, you’ll find me running around the house, softly affliction the babes, who’ve concealed my money/ debit card and/ or keys. Guess I should get used to this as I discover teenage girls take the same stuff.”

When Mom is Away…The Kids Still Need Baths

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“After long daytime of walking around and playing, The twinneds needed a tub and I required a washing so epoch 2 of #dadtakeover objective like this.( I don’t run baths just for myself…I’m a humanity after all ). In belief this sharing of a bath was a good idea. In reality it felt like I was an uninvited blue whale who’d gatecrashed a private spa for small people. If ogles from children could kill, I’d have been dead for sure. Strategically residence flannels were used in the take of this illustration.( And yes I took the picture on a tripod before parties expect! I’m on my own !) On to era 3. ”

Sex Education and the Female Body

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“This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it& having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid-no’ front bottoms’ or’ nunnys’ in this house, it’s strictly a’ vagina’ occasion( which coincidentally would be a great title for a drama series on TV ). That replied, she’s chosen tonight( when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about gentlemen which moves me feel like an chagrined juvenile, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites- “do you wear a condom daddy? ” Me- “Yes”. Then why do you have so many children? Touch. “Have you and mummy had sexuality more than three times? ” I chortled proudly- “Way more……like at the least 9 or 10 times”( I didn’t want to come across as a sex crazied lunatic ).

The Bed Will Never Be Big Enough

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“Is it only me or do all men read to sleep on an 8 inch airstrip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the dimensions of the bed, or how many beings are in it, I ever find myself relegated to the’ person zone’. I’ve become so used to sleeping on this limited country of berth real estate, that I’m confident that I could sleep on top of a wall& not fell from. On the other side of the couch( the promised land ), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a superstar fish all darknes long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my paw encroaching onto her area. At least the bed’s nice and warm, even if the receipt isn’t sometimes! ”

And Neither Will the Bathroom …

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“Why does bathtime always commit cramming as numerous family members into one of the smallest areas in the house at the same era? I suspect the eldest 2 like it as it’s like a cheap form of the sea life core. They get to watch these weird pink slippery stuffs sprinkle about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges. Clemmie and I are there precisely play life pickets and crowd control. I should charge admission. Just avoid paying soiled nappies at the door and the liquid EVERYWHERE. Actually, forget it- Health and safety would definitely slammed us down.”

Life may be crazy, but Simon takes dignity in the look that he is a handyman, taxi operator, swim instructor, mentor, cook, personal assistant, consultant, human jungle-gym, bank ATM and personal shopper.

His Instagram has virtually 500 k partisans, and rapidly growing. Meet more of his family mirth here.

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