So, after 13 hours of binge watching unrealistically attractive high school students( played by 30 -year-olds) try to work through Hannah Baker’s untimely extinction, I have come to one conclusion about the show’s picture of teenage suicide: it doesn’t problem because the show is garbage.
Trash that is so hot that it’s on fire.
Trash that is so on fire the person will tweet a picture of it and use it as a analogy for our present political situation.
Just a red-hot, hot litter flaming of a show, that I wasted my entire Saturday hate-watching( yes, I could have stopped watching at any time, but then we wouldn’t have this amazing ponder slouse, would we ?). By the end of my binge, I was so enraged that I’d squandered an entire hangover on that I nearly slit my–well, okay let’s not go there. I’m not going to kill myself over some teenage drama. I didn’t do it in high school, and I’m not doing it is currently. But, nonetheless 😛 TAGEND
, welcome to your tape.
TAPE 1, SIDE A: Hannah Baker Is Annoying AF
Holy shit. Could someone be more additional from the mausoleum? I have never detested a tragically dead girlfriend more than I hated Hannah Baker. From the first moment she said “Hey, it’s me…” I knew this videotape shit was going to annoy me, which is a problem because it’s like, the entire egotism of the reveal. Hannah is so annoying in all regions of the show that it’s hard-boiled not wished to accede to the characters who say she composes her own drama. That’s not to say she deserves the worst shit that happened to her, but the categorization of her as a “drama queen” is not that far off. And don’t even get me started on all her succinct little quotes. “Once again, you and the item are terminated strangers.” Make me a fucking smash. Too, she realizes that she could just ask Clay out herself, right? Like, Bumble prevails now. Daughters can constitute the first move. This girlfriend spends the entire serial talking about how she has no pals, when in fact she makes a new acquaintance every goddamn chapter and dates like all members of the basketball unit. She has friends at academy. She has friends at work. She accompanies literally every school defendant and purpose. If this chick is an “unpopular loner” then what the fuck does that become me in high school? Ugh actually don’t answer that.
TAPE 1, SIDE B: WHO TF WOULDN’T LISTEN TO ALL OF THE TAPES ?!?
Clay Jensen, this one’s for you. Who the fucking wouldn’t listen to all of the tapes? Again, I understand that this is a major scheme device in the prove, but I’m only not buying it. Oh, you get “panic attacks” when you listen to them? Then take a fucking Xanax, grab a glass of wine, and get that shit done. None in their right mind wouldn’t listen to all of the strips instantly , no matter how much a “special guy” you are. If Clay was half as “smart” and “good” as the establish was trying to claim that he was, he would have listened to the videotapes instantly, or at least fast forwarded until he got to his own name, and then turned that shit into the police because the tapes literally say he didn’t do anything.
TAPE 2, SIDE A: This High School Should Be Shut Down By The Government
Okay so what the fuck is going on at this high school? Students are allowed to illegally distribute “zines” and teachers will only use that shit for exercises in class? The Cheerleaders are allowed to set up both students and give out their personal phone numbers for a dollar? One girlfriend kills herself and another boy with a eternal section on his forehead starts establishing serious clues of mental illness and nobody does shit? Hannah literally told multiple coaches she wanted to kill herself, and nothing of them piece that together until several weeks later? Teenagers on campus are drinking booze out of water bottles in the middle of the day, and straight up disappearing to go rock climbing with Gay Mexican The Fonz and nothing even announces residence? Wtf is this school? The only explanation I can think of is all of this is supposed to take place in November of 2017, so the whole happening was attributable to Betsy DeVos becoming Secretary of Education.
TAPE 2, SIDE B: Clay’s Fucking Forehead
Clay Jensen spends 90% of the present razzing around on his motorcycle injuring himself, but good-for-nothing compares to the hurt he prolongs where reference is straight up get hit by a gondola and busts his face open, generating curve that will follow his dumb ass throughout the substantiate. Every occurrence this wrap goes more and more disgusting and yet effects no frighten to any of the adults around him. Earnestly. Not even one person says, “Hey Clay, the giant vagina of a weave across your forehead appears to be giving you jaundice, have you considered get sews? ” Clearly the other girls on the tape were hoping that if their fear tactics wouldn’t stop Clay from releasing the tapes, then he’d die from the obvious infection on his face.
TAPE 3, SIDE A: I Shouldn’t Have To Say This, But Rape Is Worse Than Slapping Someone
So uh…anybody else notice that one thing on the strips was not like the others? Like, yes, it was inconsiderate for that boy to publish Hannah’s poem without her dispensation, and Jessica possibly should not have slapped Hannah at Monty’s, but that is all some somewhat usual high school shit compared to the fact that Bryce is an actual fucking rapist. And sure, this quality goes brought up a few times on the picture, but it’s ever met with person( often The Real Slim Shady Alex or Gay Mexican The Fonz) saying cryptically that “we all killed Hannah.” But guess what–no you fucking didn’t! I symbolize maybe a little, but there’s a pretty enormous difference between circulating a index where you say someone has the best ass in school( why would you even be upset about that tho ), and has become a serial sexual assailant who has cheated multiple women on campus. And sure, Sheri likely should have called about that downed stop clue, but I contemplate the police are going to be fairly willing to overlook that once they get to the two allegations of sexual assault that led to a suicide. The reality that every attribute didn’t immediately say, is maybe the show’s biggest mistake, and that’s saying a lot. Earnestly, if you want to make a show about the effect misogyny and abuse culture can have on young girls, do that. Do that all day. But are also aware that when you do that you’re going to too have to do the emotional and moral legwork to go with it, and surely don’t sit here and pretend like a guy stealing your tones out of the congratulate container is on the same level.
Also, what the fuck is a compliment jar?
TAPE 3, SIDE B: FML Forever
“FML forever” is a phrase coined by Alex, Hannah, and Jessica during their satisfies at Monty’s and it is perhaps one of “the worlds largest” scandalous crimes committed on the prove( apart from Bryce and stalking ). As soon as I heard it uttered as statements in chapter 2, I should have known that the substantiate was going to be bullshit. While it does perfectly encapsulate the sentiments of watching , no girl on Earth “wouldve been” say it out loud. Its inclusion in the show is your biggest intimate that the whole occasion was written by a 41 -year-old man.
TAPE 4, SIDE A: That Fucker With The Camera
Good Lord this minor was bothering. As far as I remember from high school, members of the yearbook committee are not permitted to photograph other students from the window of the bathroom. They were also required to take grades other than photography, and their desire to help create a nice catalogue of all the school’s recalls didn’t correspond to being a literal stalker who circulates photos of students fastening up around the school. Likewise, you’re “in love” with Hannah? What the fucking are you talking about? You have literally no interaction until she catches you hiding in the bushes trying to take photos of her changing. I’d throw a stone through this dude’s window whether a bunch of dead girl’s tapes told me to or not.
TAPE 4, SIDE B: Gay Mexican The Fonz
I could not, for the life of me, know what this is attribute. So, he garments like a 1950 s tough guy, has a nice car, is homosexual, speaks Spanish rarely, and is also close enough to Hannah that she would entrust him with her suicide strips, yet not close enough to Hannah for her to consider him when she says she has “no friends.” He’s the moral nature of the indicate, but at no object during his firstly listen to the strips did he ever repute, Nope. Instead he’s just like,
TAPE 5, SIDE A: Communications Class
What is this? Has anyone ever heard of this? I’m not saying it’s a bad impression, but has literally anyone on Earth ever taken a class like this? And I’m not talking about some hippie institution your cousin was just going to where they don’t get grades, I’m talking about a public high school. Apart from the fact that this class subsists precisely nowhere, it seems like it’s the causes of a huge amount of misfortune for the school and very little teach. Like, who could have approximated that class that appears to be entirely predicated on high schoolers sending anonymous letters to each other would have disastrous consequences? This teacher had one position, and it was to report the time a student anonymously told her they wanted to commit suicide, and she didn’t do it. Oh, that and watching the flatteries cup, which she also failed to do.
TAPE 5, SIDE B: Jessica
How are we supposed to feel about Jessica in this show? On the one side, she slapped Hannah, which is symbolize. On the other mitt, she’s been driven to premature alcoholism by the stifled remembers of being assaulted by the skipper of the Basketball team. Like, I kind of give the slapping a pass? Too, isn’t Hannah kind of a dick for including her as a “reason” why she committed suicide bearing in mind the fact that Jessica kind of has more of a reason to be mad at Hannah than Hannah has to be mad at her? Like, I’m sorry but you can’t roast person in Tape 2 and then has demonstrated that you two are complicit in their assault on Videotape 5.
TAPE 6, SIDE A: One Of The Characters Is Named Montgomery De La Cruz
Nope. Nah. Hard pass here. How did no one look at the dialogue for this display and say, “Hey people, there’s a character in this demo referred Montgomery De La Cruz, and that’s merely not a real name that a human adolescent has.” The reality that this reference does anything in the substantiate besides justify his completely insane appoint, or fill in paperwork to have it legally changed, is one of the show’s most glaring inaccuracies.
TAPE 6, SIDE B: Alex’s Hair
Why? Just why? We’re supposed to believe that this dude has dated the two hottest women in institution and regularly hangs out with the basketball crew while rocking the same haircut as early’ 90 s Eminem? Again, this shit is just not believable.
TAPE 7, SIDE A: Who Invited The Librarian?
Okay, first things firstly, why the fuck is there some 30 -year-old hipster at the college exhibition simply representing the concept of being a librarian? I candidly feel like this buster wasn’t invited to the college fair at all, and he only rolled up with a knot of dusty-ass journals and sat down because the school, as we’ve previously discussed, has no fucking clue what’s gone on within its walls. If this person genuinely wanted to help Hannah he would have told her to get to Sallie Mae and take out some fucking loans because to become a librarian this is necessary an MFA in library science. Likewise, and I hate to break it to all the “I exclusively read real books” people out there, but the only difference between speaking on a Kindle and reading as a journal is the back anguish you’re going to have from carrying that shit in your knapsack all day.
Honestly, there is more to say about this show’s depiction of teen suicide and whether or not it’s good for girls( it’s not ), but those investigates are better left to people who are like, experts and shit. For me, this reveal didn’t even have the time to let me down with its irresponsible depictions of suicide because it was so busy disheartening me in its they are able to exactly be a show that obligates sense.
Next time I decide to dedicate an entire daytime to binge-watching a testify, I’ll be sure to make sure that show is actually good before getting too expended to stop.
Actually, who am I kidding. No I won’t.