My wife was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer 5 weeks before our 1st marry anniversary. That wasn’t the greatest heartbreak.
She went through 5 surgeries, 6 rounds of radioactivity, and 3 years of constant chemo. I had to be her stone and be strong for her every day of those 3 years. I had to be brave and tell her that we were going to kicking cancer’s ass, even though I was dying inside. That wasn’t the greatest anguish either.
She died on July 1st( 3 weeks before my bday) and we immersed her on the 4th of July. Neither of those were the greatest heartache either.
The greatest anguish was sitting with her every night the three weeks or so leading up to her death, supporting her handwriting, talking about here her, and knowing that she had no idea who I was, where she was, or what was happening to her. That’s what hurt “the worlds largest”. I lost her long before she died.
I was married to my first partner for twenty years. We started having issues in our union that every duo has, I believe. Then one day, she goes to her gynecologist. She calls me in tears … She has cancer. For two years, I stood beside her, shaved my heading when she lost her hair to chemo, impounded her handwriting while the doctors gushed poison into a cath-port in her chest. The most distressing period? It was the evening when she and I sat at the kitchen counter with our youngest. I had to tell her that momma was dying. She was twelve. That’s an age when a little girl needs her mommy. And mommy wasn’t going to be there. All she had was me, and as a papa, I’m okay. As a mom, I’m piss-poor. I tried everything I could to console her, but how can you console a little girl when you’re the asshole who just told her mommy’s going to die and no amount of implore or bargaining with God or whomever can change it. Her mother succumbed August 31, 2013 at persons under the age of 42. Too young.
Three months later, my momma died of undiagnosed cancer and finished destroying me and my daughter.
Was dating this daughter who i gave my whole nature to. Spotcheck out she cheated on me. When I questioned her why she said it was none of my business. Never got a ground. She never talked to me about it ever.
It was 2008. I was 21. My pregnant lover died in a president on collision a month before she was due/ our anniversary.
The second affair I was in gone on for three years, and basically ended with her moving to Europe. It was bumpy, but we left on good terms, and it had to be done. For a while after that, I simply didn’t want a relationship. In fact I evaded it like the plague.
Just recently had a girl who is an absolute 10 start talking to me after a while. We had hooked up once before but nothing serious, she starts talking about being in a relationship, and like an moron I agreed.
After 3 month of talking everyday, hanging out on weekends( she lives an hour away at her college) I come up to visit and catch out she attracted the exact same shit to two of my closest friends. Fed them the same bullshit, fucked both them, and carried on business as usual.
While it wasn’t like we were a thing for very long, its honestly subdued me. I feel altogether emasculated and used, and it only adds to this feeling that Ill be alone in a brand-new metropolitan eternally. I know its not the case, but I think about it daily and it fucking sucks.
My dad died when I was 4, I never knew him. My baby raised my older sister and I as a single mother but gradually passed into alcoholism. The more she sucked the less responsibility she required. She shed me out onto the streets when I was 15. I haven’t spoken to her since then, I’m practically 30 now. She is alive somewhere boozing herself to an early mausoleum and I can’t do anything to fix it.
My BF neglects my necessaries, but tells me he enjoys me, craves me in their own lives, craves a future with me, etc. All the buzzwords/ terms I want to hear. The actions do not equal the words nonetheless, and it hurts so much better to feel so alone in a relationship.
I want to do nice thoughts for him, but stopped going out of my mode to be caring and special towards him since it wasn’t reciprocated. I want to cuddle and be told that I’m beautiful. He doesn’t do either anymore. He has me hanging on to the “guarantee” that circumstances will get better once he has his needs convened( getting more alone time, less stress, etc ).
I’ve been cheated on and are going through other sorrows, but this is by far the most difficult; experiencing perfectly alone, disadvantaged and powerless in connections with someone who is selfish and misleading.
My grandfather succumbed alone, by himself , no category or sidekicks around him. Breaks my mettle each time I think about him.
Had to lay a “cat-o-nine-tail” yesterday. My wife feeds the local flock so they’ve started getting attached to us, returning us their kittens, hanging out on hall, and responding me when I come home. So though I wouldn’t consider them “ours” I still feel responsible for and connected to them.
Some assholes tear up our street as fast as they can and my partner got home yesterday to find one of the girls in the middle of the road, so I embed her beneath her favorite rise tree. She’s the third largest feline from that flock that I’ve had to bury, I’m not sure how many more mausoleums I can dig.
Thankfully the neighbourhood rescue has started a TNR program, so hopefully the herd won’t be get any larger.
I could go with how my pa succumbed. I could go with why I’m living 600 miles from their own families, all the turd with my one ex. Perhaps go with pet demises, including a young me experiencing some brodozer speed up and swerve precisely to smack my cat.
But the number one was when my friend’s daughter enunciated ” I wish you were my daddy .” I adoration the girls dearly and it’s apparent they adore me. I can’t support anything more than friendship to them, and their mummy is currently going them wrapped up in her stuff.
So the best I can do is just be a good role model whenever I am around. And if I am still over late enough, I carry the little girl to bed and tuck her in. They already have two men they announce daddies and both are deadbeats who aren’t around. I grew up without a daddy more, I know the feeling.
developed flavors for a pal and after a year of trying to lay it, I immersed my pride and requested her out( felt pushed to do it because I was leaving the country)
She told,” no, but we can still be friends”
We continued to hang out for a couple weeks, and had a nice talk the night before my flight left.
It was the last time I ever realise or discover from her directly.
Those first few weeks of confusion and sadness certainly tore through me. What’s worse though, is the feeling of no resolution towards our friendship. It was the most abrupt cut off I’ve ever experienced.
Also the sinking feeling that she possibly detests my guts doesn’t make my day sunnier either…..